Zombie Cookbook: Featured Chef Lisa Haselton

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Lisa Haselton bring culinary assassination to the Zombie Cookbook with her story, "The Secret Ingredient."

Mystery lover at heart, Lisa's writing was influenced by Stephen King at an impressionable age. She enjoys writing flash and short horror, as well as mystery and other genre pieces. Her fiction has been published in Mysterical-E, The Fiction Flyer, Pen Pricks Micro Fiction, and Flashshot. Lisa's first historical time-travel romance was published in June by Red Rose Publishing under a pseudonym. She's a full-time independent editor and freelance writer. There's nothing more satisfying than playing with words. Lisa Haselton has been writing since her youth. She's written in many genres including horror, mystery, and fantasy, and has several short stories published. Some stories have won or placed in contests. Words are like oxygen to her; she needs to write every day. She hopes her stories are as enjoyable for others to read as they are for her to create. She loves creating a perfectly good world and then twisting it out of proportion.

Why did you write this story?

I wanted to write a story to go with the poem “A Zombie Named Clete”. The poem came to me in a rush, and I thought it would be great to have a story to go with it. It took me quite a while to decide on the setting for the short story which turned into “Secret Ingredient”, but once I figured out the setting, the story developed for me.

What was your favorite part of writing the story?

Doing a little bit of research on zombies so my story would be based with zombie ‘facts’.

Do you like zombie tales? Why or why not? – in general I’m more of a vampire and werewolf person, but I like to try new subjects, and when the zombie one came along I thought I’d give it a shot.

What else do you write?

I write a lot of mysteries and horror. I was definitely influenced by Stephen King. I can be writing a happy-go-lucky story and then it’ll twist into something I never expected. I love that part of the process – when the story takes off and I’m along for the ride instead of trying to figure out the roadmap.


Where can we find you online?
I can be found at http://www.myspace.com/lisahaselton and http://lisahaselton.tripod.com

Is there anything in your story based upon a real life event? If so, tell us about it. – The setting is based a bit on a WY dude ranch I spent some time at this year. I liked the idea of having a ranch because it is set off from the general population. Serving meals and having a non-meat-eating zombie who loved to cook just made me giggle, so I had to work with it.

When did you first know you wanted to be a writer?

Since my very first journal when I was a young girl. I have always enjoyed reading and exploring (I grew up with very few neighbors and lots of land to explore), and I’d make up stories as I was out in the woods. There is a long family history with my home and so I tried to imagine what other generations experienced on the same property. My mind has always been awhirl with stories. I have to write to get them out and make room for new stories.

Have you ever written something that you’re afraid to let other people read? Why?

Absolutely. My dark side scares me at times. I have a couple of stories that I’m not sure anyone will ever see.

What is the toughest part about being a writer and how do you get past it?

The toughest part for me is deciding when a piece has had enough editing. Deciding when it is as good as I intended it to be. I get past it by eventually telling myself to stop editing and move on to my next piece. I believe I average about 5 rewrites for short stories now. It’d be so easy to keep tweaking and changing and rewriting.

About the rest of the contributors:

Kim Richards, Editor: Co-founder and CEO of Damnation Books, she's also on staff for Writer's Chatroom www.writerschatroom.com; writes columns for Myshelf.com and Writers and Readers of Distinctive Fiction; and blogs at The Write Brigade bi-monthly. Her website featuring her own writing is at http://www.kim-richards.com. Becca Butcher: Becca Butcher lives in western North Carolina with several family members who frequently give her strange looks. She can be found scribbling into a notepad while working the day job, singing loudly with the radio while driving, or online both writing and flirting, for research purposes of course. Becca writes fantasy, humor, romance, erotica and personal blogs on everything from writing to relationships. More info can be found at http://beccabutcher.blogspot.com, http://www.facebook.com/writerbecca and www.myspace.com/beccasmagicpencil.

Carla Girtman: Featured Oct 9.

Cinsearae Santiago, contributor and cover artist: A digital artist and still-photographer, Ms. Santiago is Editor/Publisher of Dark Gothic Resurrected Magazine--a 2nd place finalist in the Preditors & Editors Readers Poll for 2008--having created this publication to give new and unpublished writers and artists of the genre a chance to shine and see their names in print, preferring unique, edgy stories that are out-of-the-box. She also received the Author's Site of Excellence Award in December 2007 from P & E, and is a Cover Artist for Damnation Books. She is also author of the dark, paranormal romance series, "Abraxas", found here: http://bloodtouch.webs.com/abraxas.htm. An avid fan of 'old school' horror movies (Freddy, Jason, Michael, Pinhead, etc.), Halloween is her favorite time of the year. She attended Community College of Philadelphia, majoring in English, with interests in creative writing and Theater. Ms. Santiago enjoys the Vampire/Goth scene and can be found haunting Philadelphia's "Dracula's Ball" from time to time, or roaming cemeteries and state parks. She has always been drawn to the flipside of life--the supernatural, odd, bizarre, Gothic, and 'darkly beautiful' always being an inspiration to her. She can be reached through her website, http://Bloodtouch.webs.com. She did the awesome cover for The Zombie Cookbook!

Dawn Marshallsay: Dawn is a vegetarian writer, journalist and artist, whose fascination with zombies began after watching Night of the Living Dead as a child. She draws inspiration from natural beauty and decay in her local Kentish woodland. Find out more at http://www.myspace.com/484164002

George Silliman, artist: George is a 36 year old self taught artist living in New York. His specialty is horror. He confesses to having an endless passion for drawing and painting and is willing to try anything that allows him to experiment and further his boundaries. George's fondness of horror influences every piece of his work. "Imagination is the key to a great horror illo." George currently is on the art staff of DAMNATION BOOKS and his artwork has also been published in such magazines as RAZAR, Black Petals, The Corpse, Writers post Journal, 'Opinions' Magazine, Hoodz and Kopfhalter. He has also had his works appear on the website REVOLUTION SCI FI. George also does private commissions and frequently sells finished pieces. http://georgesilliman.daportfolio.com/

Karina Fabian: Karina Fabian suffers from an overdeveloped sense of humor and a twisted imagination. Little wonder, then, that she enjoys writing quirky stories for anthologies like Zombie Cookbook. In addition, she writes novels about a dragon detective working in the Mundane world. People have been warned not to read her DragonEye, PI, stories and books in the library. When she's feeling more serious, she writes and edits faith-filled science fiction and fantasy. Visit her website at http://www.fabianspace.com. Check out DragonEye at http://www.dragoneyepi.net. (Twitter: @karinafabian Facebook: Karina.Fabian)

Kate Sender: Kate Sender wrote her first short story as a child in response to her dad's encouraging challenge; that if she really wanted something, and worked hard for it, she was bound to attain her dreams. She sharpened her pencil with prose and poetry until, decades later, she realized one dream with publication in Falling Star Magazine. Encouraged now by the writing community where she is a moderator and monthly editor of Mystery and Horror Newsletters, Writing.Com, and the versatile, creative authors at Writerspace.Com, Kate continues the journey prosaic and poetic. While realizing her other dream, of being the first mortal female starship commander, required more math than she cared to master, she never lost her desire to explore physical and ephemeral wonders. Her stories and poetry are inspired by the natural world in its myriad manifestations, obvious to the discerning writer's eye.

Lin Neiswender: Featured Oct 10.

Scott Virtes: Scott Virtes has had over 400 stories & poems published since 1986. His works have appeared in Nature (June 2009), Analog (July/Aug 2007, Jan 1997), Space & Time, Ideomancer, Star*Line, Cafe Irreal, Illumen, and many more. He has two story collections and 5 poetry chapbooks available. You can watch him die in "Master and Commander", but he's okay now. Home page: http://scott.virtes.com

The Zombie Cookbook: Yes, the band called The Zombie Cookbook. Hailing from Amsterdam, these five rockers love zombies as much as we do, so we're honored to have had them write our introduction. If you like metal music, they're online at: http://thezombiecookbook.blogspot.com/ http://www.myspace.com/thezombiecookbook Be sure to tell them Damnation Books sent you!

The Zombie Cookbook by Kim Richards

For the next couple of days, I'll be touring The Zombie Cookbook, edited by Kim Richards. I have two stories in it: "Wokking Dead," where zombies invade a Korean restaurant, and "My Big, Fat, Zombie wedding."

Brain-Teasing Stories and Recipes to (un)Die For!

 

A Hard Message to Deliver by The Zombie Cookbook (the band): Who would have known writing an introduction would be so dangerous?

Wokking Dead by Karina L. Fabian: It's war and love when zombies invade a Korean restaurant.

Secret Ingredient by Lisa Haselton: There's a zombie in the kitchen! That may be the case, but when spaghetti-eating zombie Clete takes a job as the assistant chef at the L-Double-J ranch, he's not the one you need to watch out for. It's a tale of catering and culinary revenge. Would you have added the secret ingredient?

A Zombie Named Clete by Lisa Haselton: A little poem in honor of the twice-deceased Clete. Was this on his tombstone, or did he carry a copy in his pocket?

Beer-Battered Zombie with Butternut Squash by Becca Butcher: What's a cookbook without a recipe? Not for the faint of stomach, though with a few substitutions, it might actually make a good meal. (Not everyone's a fan of squash, after all.)

The Right Recipe By Lin Neiswender: Zombie culinary aficionados had better watch out! The zombies are not pleased to be eaten, as the editor of the Zombie Cookbookery Publications discovers in this tale of turnabout-is-fair-play.

Quick & Easy Zombie Pastie by Kate Sender: A no frills, four-ingredient full course meal will satisfy both your Zombie's cravings and nutritional needs.

Express Cuisine by Dawn Marshallsay: Zombie attack on a speeding train--is there really any escape? Fight, hide, jump--none of it can stop you from becoming...Express Cuisine.

Brain Food by Carla Girtman: Ah, domestic zombie bliss! It's the Undead Cleavers mixed in with a little Arsenic and Old Lace. Can't tell you much about this story except that the ending will surprise you as much as it did Thelma!

Brain Salad for Dummies by Scott Virtes: The practical guide for that zombie invasion. Your own little zombie poison recipe, combined with practical advice. As Scott says--Follow his advice and you might get enough sleep at night to stay two steps ahead.

A Zombie's APB by Cinsearae Santiago: A zombie decides to give a "Hear ye, hear ye!" to the human race after getting fed up with the lack of "good food" these days. All he wants is some good, organic humans--is that too much to ask?

My Big Fat Zombie Wedding by Karina Fabian: So what if he's undead? That won't keep Vida from marrying her true love--and neither will challenges from prejudice to unusual dietary needs stop the wedding of the decade!

It's the Zombie Cookbook Virtual Book tour!

Check out the invasion schedule:

October 5 Virtual Book Tour de Net www.virtualbooktourdenet.blogspot.com  info + tour schedule

October 5 Midlist Writer http://www.midlistwriter.blogspot.com   review

October 5 It Came From Ryan's Brain; Goodreads http://theorangemonkey.livejournal.com/ review

October 5 Goodreads http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1341280.Ryan_Harron  review

October 6 New Book News http://doylebooks.blogspot.com/  information

October  One Writer's Journey http://pennylockwoodehrenkranz.blogspot.com/  review

October 7 Unwriter http://unwriter1.wordpress.com/  review, interview

October 7 One Writer's Journey http://pennylockwoodehrenkranz.blogspot.com/  interviews

October 8 Virtual Book Tour de Net www.virtualbooktourdenet.blogspot.com  interviews

October 8 Joyce Anthony information http://joyce-anthony.blogspot.com/

October 9 The Writer Apprentice http://novaham.blogspot.com/  Interviews

October 9 Lily's News, Reviews and Interviews http://lilyauthor.blogspot.com/ interviews +

October 9, 10, 11 The Writer Apprentice http://novaham.blogspot.com/  interview of ZC authors

October 9, 10 Joyce Anthony interview http://joyce-anthony.blogspot.com/

October 11 Joyce Anthony  review http://joyce-anthony.blogspot.com/

October 12 Word of Fennatia http://www.worldofenantia.com/musesblock review

October 12 Virtual Book Tour de Net www.virtualbooktourdenet.blogspot.com  review

October 12 Yes We Can! http://kbaccellia.livejournal.com/ interview

October 1: If You Give a Girl a Pen http://giveagirlapen.com/ Guest blog

October14  Chelle Cordero's XANGA Blog http://cce613.xanga.com/  Interview with Kim Richards

October 14 The Writers Chat Room http://www.writerschatroom.com/blog.htm  guest blog

October 14, 8-11 pm Eastern: The Writers Chat Room http://www.writerschatroom.com/Enter.htm join the chat to talk about writing for anthologies

 October 15 Kim Richard's Blogs     http://kim-richards.livejournal.com/

http://www.myspace.com/kim_richards

http://kim-richards.blogspot.com/

October 17: If You Give a Girl a Pen http://giveagirlapen.com/  Review and Interview

October 17: Trent Kinsey http://www.trentkinsey.com/ Review

October 18  Rites of Romance Reviews http://rorreviews.wordpress.com/ information, reviews

October19 Chelle Cordero's XANGA blog http://cce613.xanga.com/  book promo  

October 20 Virtual Book Tour de Net www.virtualbooktourdenet.blogspot.com  wrap-up of reviews

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It's Not About Him by Michelle Sutton

When Susie discovers she is pregnant, she has no idea who the father is. She considers having an abortion, but decides to place her baby for adoption instead. Following through ends up being more wrenching than she'd imagined, but she's determined to do the right thing for her baby.

Interview With Michelle Sutton:

Is this a sequel to "It's Not About Me"?

Most definitely.

What can readers expect from this book?

Readers will participate in the emotional journey with Susie (the heroine) that parallels her decision to place her infant for adoption. Instead of having an abortion, she decides to have her baby but knows she can't take care of it. So she does an open adoption. Most people are only familiar with closed adoptions. This story is about a covenant agreement between the birth mother and adoptive family and the way and open adoption (done correctly) should look. This is an option that more teens could take if they were aware it existed.

What's your favorite scene?

My favorite scene is probably the one where Tony approaches Jeff (hero) the first time about his desire to be intimate with his girlfriend and his emotional/physical struggle with doing the right thing. I love how these guys discuss the particulars. That was fun to write.

Who's your favorite character?

In every book it's Tony. I love him because he is real, he's honest, but he's also human and frustrating. He's fun to abuse, too. I admit it. But that makes him loveable to me because he is always searching and like St. Paul, he asks himself "Why do I do the things I don't want to do and not do the things I should?" Though in much of book one he's just an idiot, he does change over time, but still struggles like we all do.

What's next for you?

Coming in Sept 2010 is It's Not About Her, the final book in the series. This is Tony's story, and in my opinion (as well as several other people who have read it), the best book of the three. Why? Because you finally see the world from his perspective. Up until this book all you know about Tony is what other people hear and think about him. By this time readers really want to see Tony happy. I show how difficult that is to achieve for him, but how much more rewarding it is as well - because he worked so hard to get there.

Review of The Midnight Dancers by Regina Doman

Synopsis:

When teenaged Rachel Durham finds a way that she and her eleven stepsisters can sneak out of their Chesapeake Bayside home after midnight, their troubled fundamentalist father enlists the help of Paul Fester, an ex-soldier and traveling juggler, to find out what the girls are up to. A modern retelling of Grimm's fairy tale "The Twelve Dancing Princesses."

Review:

Regina Doman has written a fun and exciting tale for teens and older. I very much enjoyed the book, and think it's the best of her series I've read thus far. I'm impressed how she can take an ancient fairy tale and put it into a modern setting. The demons and magic in these tales are things you'd find in everyday life--the good-looking guy who cares only for himself, or the secret passage that promised the magic of freedom from chores and strict parents. Iliked the characters a lot as well.

However, this is a book aimed at teens, so let me tell you my daughter's reaction. Amber 14, has little use for romance, loves Lord of the Rings and has no tolerance for the abusive relationship that masquerades for True Love in the Twilight series. She devoured this book in a couple of days. She thought Paul, the hero, was absolutely cool and wants to draw him. (She's an artist.) She was fully absorbed in the story and the adventure--and would want to discuss the book with me as she read.
Definitely, if you have teen girls, you should get Midnight Dancers for them.

The Fairy Tale Novels by Regina Doman

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If you want to escape with a good book, try these Catholic fairy tales retold by Regina Doman. The Shadow of the Bear, Black as Night, Waking Rose, and the latest book, The Midnight Dancers.

In these contemporary novels for teens and adults you'll find Fighting. Friars. Fire. Dwarves. Dragons. Princes. Priests. Knights. Nuns. Ninjas. Maidens. Miracles. Chases. Escapes. Rescues. Revenge. Torture. True love. All with Catholic characters and themes. The Fairy Tale Novels have sold over 15,000 copies and each title has made Lulu's Monthly Top 100 Sellers List. The third book, Waking Rose, is still on the Lulu All-Time Bestseller list.

If you're looking for romance and excitement without the twisted values so commonly found in contemporary fantasy, check out these adventures by Regina Doman.

See more and read sample chapters at www.fairytalenovels.com

Order at http://www.fairytalenovels.com/RetailOrders.cfm Or from Amazon:

CSFF Presents: The Vanishing Sculptor by Donita K. Paul

Summary:

Tipper is a young emerlindian who’s responsible for the upkeep of her family’s estate during her sculptor father’s absence. Tipper soon discovers that her actions have unbalanced the whole foundation of her world, and she must act quickly to undo the calamitous threat. But how can she save her father and her world on her own?

The task is too huge for one person, so she gathers the help of some unlikely companions--including the nearly five-foot tall parrot Beccaroon--and eventually witnesses the loving care and miraculous resources of Wulder. Through Tipper’s breathtaking story, readers will discover the beauty of knowing and serving God.

Interview with Donita Paul:

1. Why did you write this story?

I wanted to explore more areas of the world I had created. I had the image of the grand parrot in my head and he demanded a story, but he wouldn’t fit in Amara, so we had to go to Chiril.

2. What was your favorite part to write?

The battle in the ballroom.

3. What was most difficult?

Getting started with the story. That's always the most difficult part for me. I stew for ages before the story gels and I can put it on paper.

4. What do you hope readers will get from it?

A perspective of how non-believers feel when they are confronted with the truth of the gospel. I have lots of missionary friends, and they've told me that the thoughts and feelings non-believers have when we evangelize are greatly overlooked. I want those emotions to be shown to the reader so that they can understand.

5. What's next for you?

I'm in the process of writing The Wandering Artist, the second book after the Vanishing Sculptor.
Also, two children's picture books will be published in 2010 an 2011 about a turtle and dragon who go on adventures. I wrote these with my daughter who has sons in the picture book age category.

This September I will be going to the annual ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) conference. Attending the conference are agents, editors, authors, etc. I strongly encourage writers to connect with ACFW. The organization is an encouragement and a place of connection that gives practical help for writers to improve their skill, insight into our peculiar industry, and spiritual guidance for those who are weary in doing good. Being an author is tough. We need friends and councilors.

Featured book, The Vanishing Sculptor - http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1400073391




Donita Paul’s Web site - http://www.donitakpaul.com/
Donita Paul’s blog - http://dragonbloggin.blogspot.com/

*Participants’ Links:
Brandon Barr
Jim Black
Justin Boyer
Rachel Briard
Karri Compton
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Karina Fabian
Linda Gilmore
Todd Michael Greene
Katie Hart
Ryan Heart
Becky Jesse
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Julie
Carol Keen
Krystine Kercher
Dawn King
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Mirtika
Eve Nielsen (posting later in the week)
Nissa
John W. Otte
Lyn Perry
Crista Richey
Cheryl Russell
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Speculative Faith
Rachel Starr Thomson
Robert Treskillard
Steve Trower
Fred Warren
Dona Watson
Phyllis Wheeler
Elizabeth Williams
KM Wilsher

Review of Freedom by Matthew Pinto

Summary:

God has revealed His mystery of love through the Word made flesh Theology of the Body. This phrase is not only the title of a series of talks by the late John Paul II, it represents the very logic of Christianity. The Theology of the Body calls us to encounter the living, Incarnate Christ and to ponder how His body reveals the meaning of our bodies. This is where God meets us: in the flesh. Therefore, the theology of the body is for every-body. And, as you ll see from the stories in Freedom: 12 Lives Transformed by the Theology of the Body, John Paul II s teaching appeals to all different kinds of people: married, single, consecrated celibates, professionals, stay-at-home moms. And, as this book also demonstrates, it s not just for Catholics either. It s for anyone hungry for the meaning of life. For, as the Pope said, the TOB affords the rediscovery of the meaning of the whole of existence, of the meaning of life. In Freedom, you will meet 12 people who, through the Theology of the Body have encountered Jesus Christ in the flesh, who offered the truth that set them free. Through their new-found freedom, these people have come to rediscover the meaning of their very existence. Many have had dramatic, life-altering experiences; others had buried truths, innate in all of us, awaken within them. All of them have discovered for themselves that the Theology of the Body answers the two most fundamental questions: 1) What does it mean to be human? 2) How do I live my life in a way that brings true happiness and fulfillment? These are questions we all long to find answers to, and the world offers no shortage of answers. But the longer we seek, the clearer we begin to see the best the world can offer are counterfeits that wound us, betray us and leave us wanting. Sadly, the truth of the Christ s teaching on sex is confirmed in the wounds of those who haven t lived it. Our longings for love, intimacy, and freedom are good, but the sexual revolution sold us a bill of goods that simply can not satisfy. We haven t been liberated - we ve been bound and trapped. But here s the Good News: if we read the signs of the times, we will realize the Theology of the Body is not a fad. God is doing something. A new sexual revolution is underway spreading slowly and quietly in human hearts that welcome the truth that this Polish Pope proclaimed about the human person. The predominant cultural ideology will collapse when enough men and women realize who they really are and to what bodily glory the en-fleshed God calls them to. The TOB revolution is beginning to take root in one person, one body at a time. The world is a mission field ready to soak up John Paul II s Theology of the Body, and it s already changing so many lives around the world. In Freedom, you ll meet 12 people who asked the same questions you have and are here to proclaim from the rooftops: This is what you ve been looking for all along! In Freedom, you will discover the power of the Theology of the Body in the lives of: A man who was liberated from his addiction to Internet pornography. A woman who, after suffering terrible abuse by her family, was freed from a life of poor self-esteem, eating disorders, and drug addiction. A young mother whose woundedness from past sexual sin and a teenage pregnancy was healed, allowing her to become the wife and mother her family needed. A priest who learned how to live his priesthood mystically united with Jesus, the divine Bridegroom. An evangelical Christian whose relationship with Christ was deepened by a new-found appreciation for the Incarnation.

Review:


I've not read John Paul II's Theology of the Body, but I've heard that it's a powerful work with the ability to transform lives. Freedom demonstrates this with twelve stories of people who found healing and new direction for their lives in the writings by one of the most insightful and beloved popes of all time. Here are testimonies of Catholics who found freedom from the pain of abortion, the shackles of abusive relationships, and society's philosophies on birth control. I wish I'd had this book many years ago; I might have learned things then that took me years of experience to understand. I recommend this book for Catholics and for Christians who want to be inspired by stories of those who came to understand God's plans for us and our human bodies.

The Sin of Addison Hall by Jeffrey Onorato

Breaking the Mold of a Traditional Hero Results in a Gripping Tale of Fiction... First-time author soars with his spellbinding story of a man fighting with human nature... Residing in a country where beautiful people are considered superior, Addison Hall is an anomaly. A mildly repugnant man, he is forced by the twisted hierarchy of his dictator to live in less than adequate living situations. The days become increasingly arduous as he toils in an unpleasant job, stricken with the disappointment of his current situation. Besides the dark comedy of his disastrous attempts at romance and his friend s antics, Addison s life is fairly dull. Then he meets Otka, a beautiful woman who owns the local coffee shop. After witnessing a chance encounter where Addison risks his life to save the life of a dog, Otka takes an obvious interest in him. Addison is perplexed by her reciprocated intrigue. Past experiences with such a valued creature of the opposite sex has left him tainted and doubting her motives. Jeffrey Onorato sensationally draws us into his world of relatable characters and witty dialect. He victoriously shatters the conventions of the true-blue hero to create a story that has both depth and originality. The Sin of Addison Hall entrances the reader with delicious conflicts of human wanting and wavering uncertainty with an ending that will leave you begging for more.





An Interview With Jeffery:

Why did you write this book?

Because our society collectively is superficial. We celebrate (and therefore value) physical beauty over all other individual qualities and its not getting better, rather its getting worse. I believe dangerously so... We are beginning to devalue those citizens that don't "tickle our fancy" with their appearance and if the moral slide continues, it could have horrific consequences.

One's ability to gather and show-off their wealth is a close second (and the theme for my next novel).

What was the hardest part of writing it?

In a word, "re-writing". I revised The SIN of Addison Hall 5 times, paragraph by paragraph, over the past 3 years. For me the act of creating is a wonderfully fun process, the act of refining... not so much :)

Additionally "letting go" of my novel was difficult. It will never be perfect although it is what I strive for... even now, reading the finished version makes me cringe because there are so many things, miniscule details, that I would love to change.

What was the most fun?

Finishing the first draft and realizing that I had communicated, albeit clumsily, the story that had been ricocheting around my mind like a bee in a mason jar for 10 years. It was thrilling.

Why a dystopic world?
Because I believe that is what will accrue given time and warped values. I was careful not to create a fantastical society because it would denude my warning. By morphing our existing society into a familiar but dangerous one hopefully haunts my readers and causes them to re-evaluate their own value system.

What's next for you?
I have just completed a draft of a novel that explores what horrible choices an individual will make when they choose "mammon" as their god. Now the re-writes start...yikes!

Danger at the Door by Michelle Sutton

Summary:

Upon her fiancé's death, Laney became a recluse who only left her home for emergencies. She managed to survive - barely - on food delivery service and her work-at-home job. When she tries to move on from her grief, the commemorative meal she orders is ruined. However, it leads to an unlikely friendship with an attractive man, Bojan, who speaks little English.

As he befriends Laney he continually says the wrong things, but he doesn't give up trying to win her trust. Meanwhile, she has this strange feeling of being watched and wonders if she's losing her mind.

Complicating things further, every time she leaves her house something bad happens, confirming that she is safer at home. Can Bojan convince Laney she'll be safe with him, or will his presence put her in further danger? Will he be able to protect the woman he loves before it's too late?

Interview With Michelle Sutton:

Why did you write this book?

This might sound crazy, but I'd been talking to my agent about writing a category romance and I was trying to think about what might be fun for me to write that wouldn't be too edgy. There was this handsome guy who worked at the KFC in my town who always said hi to me and I thought about how it would be fun to write a story about a guy who worked in a restaurant but actually owned the restaurant even though he seemed like a regular employee. Then I thought it would be fun to hook him up somehow with a gal who seemed rich even though she wasn't wealthy but just had a nice house she inherited but couldn't afford. So he thinks she is rich, she thinks he is poor. That's where it started. Then when I actually started writing the book I decided to make English his second language but decided Spanish is too easy and wanted something that even had a different alphabet. I decided to go with Macedonian because I met someone briefly who I thought would make a great hero. I had a writer friend who lived in NYC who was Albanian and she spoke/wrote Albanian, English, Greek, and Macedonian. So I basically wrote the story and consulted with her on the particulars. It was fun to write. There will be a sequel called In Plain Sight that is about the hero's sister. That will release in April 2010.

What was hardest about writing it?

The hardest part was waiting for my friend to write me back. She worked full-time like I did so there would be a delay sometimes in getting my chapters back.

What was the most fun?

The most fun besides writing the English blunders was writing the scenes with the Chihuahuas. You have to read the book to find out why. Hilarious!

What do you hope readers get from it?

I hope readers will learn to overcome some of their fears as the heroine has a fear of leaving her house and getting in a car accident. Ironically, while writing this story, I met two different people who said they were afraid to leave their house. That must have been providence because that helped me, too, with my characterization.

What about thrillers and romance appeals to you as a writer?

I like romance because I love romantic tension between men and women. I love reading it and enjoy writing it. I don't much like thrillers unless there is more than just a bunch of chase scenes. I like meat in the story. Something that makes the characters think about their lives and what they are living for. That is stuff I enjoy reading and writing. Simple thrillers do nothing for me.


Available on Amazon or click here.

Review of The Knight by Steven James

Steven James has written another compelling thriller with The Knight. I'm again amazed at his ability to weave together such complex tapestry of facts and events without confusing the reader but keeping them guessing until the end.

I'd been warned that The Knight is a darker book than his previous ones, and half-expected that I might not be able to finish it. (My imagination is too active, and I have tossed out books by some best-selling authors because they are too sick.) However, James manages to write about a truly sick, sociopathic killer and some hideous crimes without making me feel personally soiled by the images. (Although, I must admit, the snakes freaked me out, but that's a personal issue.) Don't get me wrong--I was on the edge of my seat at times, and Giovanni (the murderer) made my skin crawl, especially when he was remembering his grandmother's murder. This is an engaging book.

I've enjoyed learning more about the characters, especially the relationship between Patrick and his stepdaughter, Tessa. The warmth, the humor, the fumbling attempts to do the right thing. As a mom of teens, I want to shout advice to poor Patrick, but the whole relationship is very believable--and very touching. This time, Patrick handles some tough issues, and I admire his resolutions. No, no spoilers--go read the book.

In fact, go out and get your copy--or order it by clicking on the Amazon link. This is a terrific thriller, a solid mystery, and a great story.

The Knight by Steven James

The stakes have never been higher. FBI Agent Patrick Bowers is used to tracking the country's most dangerous killers, but now it looks like a killer is tracking him. When he realizes the murderer is using clues from a medieval manuscript as a blueprint for his crimes, Bowers faces a race against time to decipher who the next victim will be and to stop the final shocking murder--which he's beginning to believe might be his own.

A word of caution: This book is considered "gritty, chilling and intense." It contains graphic descriptions of disturbing crime scenes. While not for the faint of heart, the series has been described as "suspense thriller writing at its highest level" and is likely to keep you up all night.

Steven's Website: http://www.stevenjames.net/


Interview with Steven:

1. Tell us a little about the series.

Patrick Bowers, an FBI criminologist who uses cutting-edge 21st century investigative techniques, tracks a variety of killers, arsonists, cult leaders and criminal masterminds. The novels are suspenseful and filled with high-octane action. I’ve loved working on the series and hearing from the growing fan base about how they’ve grown close to the characters, especially Patrick’s stepdaughter, Tessa.

2. What do you enjoy about writing these books?

Well, I’m not sure my wife appreciates the long hours I have to put in! At least she’s been very supportive over the years. Peraonally, I enjoy the challenge of coming up with complex plots. Each book feels like putting together 125,000 word puzzle. It takes me nearly a year, but in the end, it’s worth it. I think.

3. Does any part of the story, character or subject disturb you? How do you work through that,if so?

When writing from the point-of-view of the sadistic serial killers, it can be a bit troubling. All right, more than “a bit.” For instance, last summer, the killer from The Knight began to give me nightmares and I had to put the book aside and finish writing a prayer book I’ve been working on. (It’s called A Heart Exposed, and will be released later this fall.)

4. What reaction do you hope readers get from this book?

Two things. First, as a Christian, I have a strong belief in the reality of both good and evil, in the dignity of life and the tragedy of death. So, when I present evil, I want it to be disturbing rather than alluring. I want to bring humanity to the characters so that when someone is killed, it matters. That’s the way it is in real life and I want my fiction to reflect that.

Second, I write with a moral question in mind that drives the story. Typically, it’s a moral dilemma like “What’s more important, truth or justice?” I would like readers to spend time thinking about these questions that ultimately matter. The novels present hope as real and available from God, and of course I would like my readers to discover that as well.

5. What's next? The Bishop? The Queen? Checkmate?

The Bishop will release summer of 2010. We’re planning four more books after The Bishop: The Queen, The King, Checkmate, and then a prequel entitled Opening Moves, so I guess Patrick Bowers and his stepdaughter Tessa will be around for awhile! By the way, readers can find out more about the series at www.patrickbowers.com



Available August 2009 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

Bleeder by John Desjarlais

When classics professor Reed Stubblefield is disabled in a school shooting, he retreats to a rural Illinois cabin to recover and to write a book on Aristotle in peace. Oddly, in the chill of early March, the campgrounds and motels of tiny River Falls are filled with the ill and infirm -- all seeking the healing touch of the town’s new parish priest, reputed to be a stigmatic. Skeptical about religion since his wife’s death from leukemia, Reed is nevertheless drawn into a friendship with the cleric, Rev. Ray Boudreau, an amiable Aquinas scholar with a fine library -- who collapses and bleeds to death on Good Friday in front of horrified parishioners. A miracle? Or bloody murder? Once Reed becomes the prime suspect in the mysterious death, he seeks the truth with the help of an attractive local reporter and Aristotle’s logic before he is arrested or killed -- because not everyone in town wants this mystery solved...

Interview with John Desjarlais:

1. Why did you write this book?

I’d been writing historical novels and wanted to try a contemporary mystery since I’ve always enjoyed reading them. But I wanted it to explore ‘higher mysteries’ of faith, love, suffering, and healing.

2. What was hardest to write about this book?

There were many more challenges with a mystery than there were with my historicals. You’d think the research would be daunting for an historical novel – and it is. But for this mystery, I had to do all sorts of research into professional areas I knew little about: blood diseases like leukemia and other medical material, poisons, police interrogation and investigative procedure, Catholic liturgy and theology of suffering. Everything must be completely authentic. Then there was the challenge of plotting a coherent and credible whodunit by following most of the time-honored ‘rules’ for the genre that readers expect you to follow. Then there was the fact that the identity of the killer was kept secret from me for a long time. The characters I suspected at first didn’t do it. That was a surprise.

3. What did you enjoy writing the most?

The End. Seriously, the ending where everything pulls together. It’s a shocker.

4. What do you hope folks will get from this book?

A sense of hope – that there can be significance in suffering. This will be poignant for Christians who can identify closely with the Man of Sorrows who is acquainted with grief. Catholics in particular have a strong theology about this, in uniting their suffering to Christ’s own Passion. At the same time, I hope readers enjoy the story and the puzzle aspect of it.

5. What's next for you?

I’m at work on the sequel that features a minor character from the first book as the protagonist. Latina insurance agent Selena De La Cruz learns her name has been written in a Catholic church’s All Souls Day ‘Book of the Deceased’ along with several other names – dope dealers who are being killed one by one in the order they appear in the book. Selena must work against time, the suspicions of her own Latino community, and the prejudices of a small town to help police find the killer before her turn comes up. The story will have a rich backdrop of Aztec mythology and Mexican Catholicism, and I’m doing lots of research on drug gangs, DEA operations, and venomous snakes. Oh, and guns. And fixing up vintage cars (Selena drives a ’69 Dodge Charger; she got it from her brother Antonio who was killed in a motor pool accident in Germany while on duty there with the Army and – well, I could go on).

More about John at: http://www.johndesjarlais.com

CSFF Presents: Offworld by Robin Parish

Christopher Burke and his crew of NASA astronauts are the first human beings to walk on the surface of Mars. Their return to Earth was supposed to be a momentous day. But a surprise is waiting for them there that's beyond imagining.

Safe after a treacherous landing in Florida, the crew emerges to find the unthinkable: every man, woman, child, and animal has vanished without a trace.

Read the First Chapter Here




Learn more at these participants’ links:

Brandon Barr
Jim Black
Justin Boyer
Keanan Brand
Gina Burgess
Canadianladybug
Melissa Carswell
Valerie Comer
Karri Compton
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Karina Fabian
Linda Gilmore
Beth Goddard
Todd Michael Greene
Katie Hart
Ryan Heart
Becky Jesse
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Julie
Carol Keen
Krystine Kercher
Dawn King
Melissa Meeks
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Mirtika
Eve Nielsen (posting later in the week)
Nissa
John W. Otte
Lyn Perry
Steve Rice
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Speculative Faith
Stephanie
Rachel Starr Thomson
Steve Trower
Fred Warren
Dona Watson
Elizabeth Williams

Bookkeeping Basics for Freelance Writers by Brigitte A. Thompson

(Note: Brigitte kindly supplied this interview, which contains the synopsis as well as some great insights.)

Tell us what Bookkeeping Basics for Freelance Writers is about.

Writers have many important questions to ask about income and expenses, but no single source for answers. I created this book, Bookkeeping Basics for Freelance Writers, to be that source. It is an easy-to-understand guide to organizing a writer’s financial life.

This book addresses issues writers face daily such as how to deduct travel expenses, determine taxable writing income, and claim home office deductions. Navigating through the recordkeeping required for a small business owner can be difficult. This book is written exclusively for those of us who earn money by writing.

Readers will also find that each part of this book works together to assist in forming an overall business plan. The chapters take the writer through a comprehensive process that works as a building block towards a successful writing business.


Have you found that freelance writers require a different set of bookkeeping rules?

Many bookkeeping rules are universal such as the requirement to record income, but there are some areas of the tax law that are of more interest to freelance writers. This includes dealing with royalty payments, bartering, personal property and agent fees. My book addresses the universal tax rules as well as the infrequently discussed rules that apply specifically to freelance writers.

Learning how to document expenses and how to track income will give writers the best chance at overall business success.

What are some tax deductions that freelance writers might not be aware of?

There are many tax deductions available to writers. Some expenses are common, such as the cost of purchasing a case of paper or paying for a computer software upgrade. Other costs incurred in the operation of your writing business may not jump out at you as expenses when they could be. For example, consider the following accounts.

Mileage: Trips made in your vehicle to pick up office supplies can be counted as a business deduction if you record the proper information to support it.

Meals: Treating your agent to a restaurant meal with the discussion focusing on your next book can also generate a tax deduction when properly documented.

Shipping: UPS charges and postage used to mail a query or review copy of your book can be a small expense, but it should still be tracked. Those small deductions add up and every penny spent as a qualified business expense will reduce the amount of income tax you owe.

Bookkeeping Basics for Freelance Writers devotes an entire chapter to expenses including a comprehensive listing of expenses and detailed information regarding what documentation is required to support each one.


I'm sure you've observed other freelance writers making accounting missteps that cost them time and money. What are some of the most common issues and how can we avoid them?

The most common misstep I’ve seen with writers is not taking themselves seriously as business owners. This can lead to financial pitfalls. Many writers have been honing their craft for years so it’s hard to identify an official starting date for their self-employment. Without this point to mark the beginning, it is easy to put off tracking income and expenses. This can be an unfortunate mistake.

The IRS will consider you to be in business when you are actively pursuing projects intended to generate income and expenses. This means they will expect you to file a tax return to report those transactions. Keeping track of your income and expenses from day one will enable you to pay the least amount of income taxes on the money you earn.

Many people find numbers, especially when related to bookkeeping and taxes, intimidating. Will this book make these things easier to understand"?

Yes, my book breaks down complicated number crunching into easy to follow steps. By reading the book, readers will understand why it's important to keep certain receipts and how those pieces of paper factor into the overall success of their writing business. Sometimes knowing the reasoning behind a task makes it easier to complete.

Writers can take advantage of some wonderful tax deductions, but only when they are aware of the possibility and know how to accurately document the expenses. My book explains it all in a reader friendly format.

What are some of the challenges readers face with regards to bookkeeping?

I found the most common challenge writers face revolves around what they can claim as income and what counts as a tax deduction. For example, if their first job is writing the school newsletter, is the money received really income? Do they need to do something with the Internal Revenue Service before they can be considered a business? How do they handle self- employment tax?

The second most common concern for the freelance writers is related to proper documentation. What receipts did they need to save? How should they be kept? What information needs to be recorded to prove the expense?

These are all great questions and they are addressed in the book.
Why is it important for writers to understand bookkeeping?

Writers are earning money and this money needs to be reported as income on their income tax return. If writers do not have any expenses to claim, their taxable income will be higher and they will owe more income tax.

Understanding what can be claimed as business expenses when you are a writer and how to properly document these expenses will help ensure the success of your business.

The most important thing you can do as a writer is to become organized. There are many books available on how to organize your writing, but this is the best book available about how to organize the financial side of your writing business.

Obviously, your book is a great place for writers to get information on bookkeeping. Are there are any other resources you recommend?

Yes, I recommend writers visit the IRS web site (www.irs.gov) to research specific tax issues and the Small Business Administration (www.sbaonline.sba.gov) for general business information.

I also recommend joining professional associations for writers such as American Society of Journalists and Authors (www.asja.org), The Authors Guild (www.authorsguild.org) and National Writers Union (www.nwu.org). There are many groups to choose from so consider the benefits of membership before joining.

I was interviewed recently by Freelance Success (http://www.FreelanceSuccess.com) which offers an insightful newsletter for their members. There are also online groups for writers such as MomWriters (http://www.MomWriters.com) offering networking opportunities as well as camaraderie.

How can we purchase your book?

Bookkeeping Basics for Freelance Writers is available through Amazon.com and my publisher (www.CrystalPress.org). Any local bookstore can order my book by ISBN-10: 0963212389 or ISBN-13: 978-0963212382. List price is $17.95.

Cling to Hope with Joy: Messages from Scripture by Janet Klasson

Cling to Hope with Joy: Messages from Scripture is a dialogue with the living God of Scripture. In these excerpts from the author's Scriptural prayer journal, the voice of God speaks to the reader's heart. Through words of love, hope, joy, encouragement, correction, and consolation the reader feels drawn into the heart of God, the Breath of Love. These powerful messages are intimate, profound, and prophetic. In these reflections, the Word becomes flesh once again and dwells among us. He is near and He brings a message for our time: Cling to hope with joy!

Janet Klasson is a freelance writer and regular contributor to the newsletter of the Brothers and Sisters of Penance of St. Francis. In over eleven years of practicing prayerful lectio divina, she has come to know in a personal way the Word made flesh. By being open to the still, small voice of the Spirit, she has been given a pearl of great price—a collection of reflections and teachings that have helped her navigate through the treacherous waters of this age. Through a series of excerpts from the Pelianito Journal, readers are invited to draw near to the Beloved, who is "as near to you as your own breath." Come and see.

All proceeds from the sale of this book go to Ephphatha House, a retreat center in the Archdiocese of Edmonton, Canada, which features a perpetual adoration chapel. Ephphatha House will be the main distributor for the book in Canada.

U.S. orders may be placed through www.lulu.com. U.S. $10.00/Canada $12.00. For more information or to contact the author, please visit www.goldleafword.com.


An Interview with Janet:

Why did you write this book?

“'I have neither silver nor gold, but what I do have I give you.' (Acts 3:6)

For several years, I have been practicing lectio divina and keeping a Scriptural prayer journal. In remaining open to the still, small voice of the Spirit, I have been given a pearl of great price—a beautiful dialogue with the living God of Scripture. Almost from the beginning, I felt that the messages in my journal were not for me alone. And since many of them were written during a time of personal trial, they translate very well into this age of uncertainty and global instability. Indeed, there is a providential timeliness to them. Some of the messages speak about a time of trial for the world, one which is seems now to be well underway. I feel our Lord's purpose in revealing such things is not to instill fear, or even to predict future events, but to build hope and trust in the God who is with us to the end of the age.

What was the best part of writing this?

The best part of writing this book was walking with our Lord on the road to Emmaus and having Scripture opened to me. Scripture tells us that the disciples who met Jesus on the road to Emmaus recognized him in the breaking of the bread. In my experience, Scripture became the bread, broken through the reflections to reveal the Lord and to draw me into a deeper relationship with him. It is my great joy now to be able to share this bread, and through it I hope that many others will also come to recognize Jesus in the breaking of the bread.

What was hardest?

When you agree to follow Jesus, it shouldn't come as a surprise when he hands you a cross. The hardest part for me is making public something so deeply personal. My instinct is to hide my light under a bushel basket, to take no risks. But Jesus tells us to set our light on a lamp stand where it will give light to the whole house. He doesn't give us gifts for our own secret pleasure, but for the building up of his Body, the Church. In answering the call to publish my journal, I had to pray for the courage to answer, “Here I am, Lord, send me.”

What do you hope readers will get from this book?

Simply put—hope, that spring of living water whose source is the heart of Christ, the hope that no earthly trial can take away. When times are bad, people ask, “Where is God?” This book answers, “He is as near to you as your own breath. Cling to hope with joy.” That is the essence of the Good News.

What's next for you?

I am now working on getting more of my journal into print. This book is a very small sampling, bits and sips from the past eleven years. There is much more to share, many more pages of the beautiful words of love and encouragement that have helped me to navigate the treacherous waters of the age. I pray that God's will alone may be done in this project and in all things.

the Window to My Soul by Tannia Ortiz-Lopes

The Window to my soul, My Walk with Jesus, is a remarkable and unique book of inspirational poetic prayers and meditations. The book is the author’s profession of her love for Jesus and of thanks to God for the many gifts and talents that He has given her. It also expresses her deep gratitude for God's sending His only begotten Son to die for her sins and allowing her and many more to find peace in Christ and an open door back to heaven. It is a total surrender to the teachings and guidance of the Holy Spirit during the study of the Scriptures. These poetic prayers and reflections are the author's way of pouring out her heart and soul while meditating on God's Word and the marvellous daily miracles in her life.

In March 2006, the book was voted “Best Poetry Book” by www.christianstoryteller.com

The book can be purchased directly from the publisher at www.tatepublishing.com, or from Amazon.




An Interview With Tannia:

Why did you write this book?

In 2003 I had a very vivid dream in which I was confronted with two realities: I was unprepared to die and the thought of this lack of preparation frightened me to my bones. In order to check my self-worth and seek some internal peace, I attended a silent spiritual retreat. Those who know me well always laugh at this, because I talk even on my sleep. The attendees were only allowed to speak during our evening meals. In one of those evenings, I shared two of my poems with another woman. She commented I should consider publishing them. The next day I asked my assigned spiritual director at the retreat house and she told me the same thing. The next week when I met with Fr. Bill, my permanent spiritual director, he shared the sentiment of those two persons. So I looked up at heaven and said: ''Ok, God. I got the message. You want me to publish them.'' On July 2004 my book, The Window to my Soul; My walk with Jesus was published by Tate Publishing.

What is your favorite part of it?

This question is hard to answer. The book is divided in four sections: A New Beginning, Walking a Mile with Job and then some... (Job 1-17), Reflections while walking with God and Jesus, and Through the Darkness. Each section is a reflection of my spiritual growth, my doubts, my victories, praises, and thanksgiving for God's blessings in my life. However, if I have to pick one poem, then I would choose: ''Who am I?'' This poem is the summary of my trials and triumphs. It is also the poem that most readers seem to identify themselves with. It is a poem that applies to all of us because it ponders over the never answered question, ''Who am I?''

What was hardest to write about it?

The hardest was the selection of the reflections and poems for the book and their edits. Some poems were very hard to reread and to write since they brought back those emotions that inspired them. Some of them were praises and joy for God's blessings in my life. Others had a darker tone since they echoed my uncertainty about God's will to my life. My calling was strong and my overwhelming respond to Jesus is still very vivid in my memory. I wondered in the wilderness for 40 years and then one day Jesus said: ''Enough! This one is coming back to the flock.'' He wanted to call my attention and he did in a very effective way. He used His tough love strategy and it worked! I am just glad that He never gave up on me.

What do you hope readers get from it?

It is my hope and desire that the reader gets a better better understanding of Jesus' unconditional love for each one of us. He is watching over us and waits patiently for us to come to His tender, loving arms to rest. All meditations, reflections, and poems are written in a very personal and intimate tone. The reader will be able to see through the window to my soul; my walk with Jesus. Most of the comments I have heard are: ''I was unable to put it down.'' ''I keep it at my night table and read it before I go to bed.'' ''Every time I read it, I get a new meaning to the reflection I read.'' I considered those comments from different readers very encouraging. Most of the readers who have been touched by my book are women. However, a couple of men have also commented on the depth of its message.

What's next for you?

I am currently working with the Spanish version of this book. This time, I chose the print-on-demand (POD) provider, Pleasant Word, to produce the book. I am very pleased with my choice. The Spanish title is El Espejo de mi Alma. This book will be published with my name and not the pen name of Mary Magdalene used for the English publication. In addition to writing inspirational poetry and meditations, I also write book reviews for www.catholicfiction.net and I recently joined the Thomas Nelson's book review blogers program.

However, my most ambitious project is the writing of a book in German regarding WWII. The book is based on eye witnesses account of Germans who survived the war and their experiences during that dark time in Germany's history. This book is scheduled for publication in 2012, if it is God's will.

Virtual Vice by Jason Kays

In Virtual Vice by Jason Kays, readers follow disillusioned entertainment attorney Ian McKenzie as his professional life takes a decided turn for the questionable when he is hired by the charismatic and dangerous Scott White to represent Scott’s interests in his cutting edge Internet startup, Metropoleis Multimedia. Unfortunately for Ian, Scott has more in common with Scarface’s Tony Montana than Apple’s Steve Jobs, and things go from questionable to deadly in no time flat. As Scott’s confidant and consigliore, Ian soon finds himself caught between the Feds, La Cosa Nostra, and the Cali Cartel in a fatal game of corporate winner-take-all.

Website: http://www.virtualvice.net/

About Jason: Jason M. Kays is an intellectual property attorney with fifteen years experience in both information technology and entertainment law. Kays is an accomplished jazz trumpet player and his passion has always been music, technology, and convergence of the two in today's digital age. This is his first novel.

Read an excerpt:

The return of the Talking Head

The day of the Talking Head’s return to the compound for broadcast of the Metropoleis Messianic Minute was a tense affair for the Board members and Netcast crew alike. In fact, “Iron” Mark Rimer was insistent that all MIII executives be off-premise the day Clarice Westwater was on location for the weekly live Netcast. Westwater pulled up to the compound at break-neck speed in a 1955 sapphire blue Series 62 Cadillac convertible. A huge spiraling conical plume of dust marked her wake. Accompanying Westwater were two particularly striking fellow female flight attendants: one driving the car, the other serving as personal assistant, and tightly clasping the Talking Head’s Hermès agenda and portfolio. A third woman, a 5’11” tall striking Eurasian make-up artist sporting a Versace dress that left little to the imagination, shared the back seat with Clarice’s personal assistant. The Talking Head deigned to carry nothing more than the “pooch purse” containing her beloved dog, Bitsie.

Clarice’s entourage followed her lock step at a brisk pace into the Ministry’s broadcast studio. Westwater led the ensemble, with her handlers fanning out behind her as she walked, forming a quadrangle. This formation permitted the Talking Head’s minions to deflect any riffraff that might attempt to approach their leader from the rear or flank, such as the gawking and dazed johns stumbling from the dimly lit whorehouse into the blinding Arizona sun. The johns and the few sex workers milling about came to a standstill and stared at the procession, as it made its way towards Mark Rimer’s welcoming outstretched hand.

The CTO warmly greeted the Talking Head and walked her into the studio. The crew, accustomed to Westwater’s enormous ego, flamboyance, and eccentric excesses, found themselves staring at this latest display of pomp and circumstance. Those that didn’t check themselves and avert their gaze in time out of deference to MIII’s royalty were treated to Clarice’s icy, reproachful stare. Rimer found himself shifting position, using his body to shield the Talking Head from the invasive gaping of the “little people”, as she commonly referred to MIII staffers. Clarice asked Rimer to take her directly to her dressing room. Once she was seated, her make-up artist hurriedly began assembling her face, while the self-appointed diva barked orders to anyone within earshot for coffee and bottled water in her distinctive South-East U.K. accent.

Usurpation with a smile

Primped, preened, and primed for her adoring unwashed masses, the Talking Head summoned Pastor Petey for a pre-show huddle. No shrinking violet himself, Petey had been humbled by the Netcast’s drop in ratings and revenue since Westwater’s departure, not to mention the torrent of bad press. The Talking Head directed the good pastor to sit in a chair across from her. Her demeanor was as cool and detached as her eyes were inflamed and focused. Much like a fighter pilot’s targeting system locking in on its military objective, Westwater’s piercing eyes fixed themselves on the pastor’s pallid, weary face. She said nothing for a good thirty seconds, simply staring at her new subordinate. Although it was an affront to every fiber in his person, the pastor knew he was outranked by her. Clarice’s brilliant blue eyes seemed to take on an ethereal quality in contrast to her blood red Vera Wang dress. Pastor Petey likened the penetrating force of Westwater’s countenance to a horrific memory from childhood of watching a neighbor boy slip near a commercial chipping machine, and his skin being stripped from hand to elbow in mere seconds. The de-gloving of skin from bone, surgically and instantaneously carried out by that machine was not unlike the ability of Clarice Westwater’s brutalizing stare to cleave psyche, soul, and flesh. These past few years with Scott White had caused the pastor to question the existence of his God – any god. Sitting across from Westwater, Pastor Petey may have doubted the existence of God, but he was convinced of the existence of the Devil.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, the pastor tired of the manipulation, and decided to launch in with forced cordiality: “Clarice, great to have you back on board. I admit there have been a few awkward moments between us, but I always have appreciated your contribution to the Ministry’s work, in general, and to the Metropoleis Messianic Minute, in particular. I just felt awful about . . .”

Westwater abruptly stopped Petey in mid-sentence by raising an alabaster hand with index finger extended heavenward. She spoke briefly and pointedly, instructing God’s servant thus: “Ahhh Petey, so good once again to be in your company! We both know that if Scott felt he had a choice, I wouldn’t be here. But he doesn’t have a choice, does he? The Ministry, and MIII along with it, is up against the ropes. Not only that, but news of MIII’s tailspin has been splashed all over the business section of the world’s most prominent newspapers. This can’t be good for investor goodwill; forget new investors, you’ll be lucky to hold onto the present shareholders. So, let’s cut the crap, Pastor.”

As if on cue, Clarice Westwater’s assistant handed her a portfolio containing the grim financials for Metropoleis Messianic Minute’s last two business quarters. The Talking Head was flanked by her personal assistant and driver, while her stylist continued to fine-tune her boss’ formidable head of hair. Clarice rattled off figures, as her bookends watched the pastor squirm uneasily in his chair. Then she continued, “We can sit here and argue the numbers, but it’s a moot issue: the Netcast is flat-lining. Hooker Nun’s lips weren’t able to bring it back from the dead, so I’ve been brought in for a mouth-to-mouth. Never send a whore to do a courtesan’s work.”

Pastor Petey bristled at the slur targeting his love interest, but let it go. Westwater concluded, “I don’t count necrophilia among my fancies; so the faster I’m able to get a pulse and make my exit, the better. No doubt we are like-minded here. If there’s a way to resuscitate the show, I’ll find it; in the interim, you and your trollop need to step aside. You still have a place in the Netcast, but it’s limited to doing what you do best – preaching from that dog-eared book of yours. I’ll be both hosting and scripting the shows. ‘Sister Lorelei’ had best return to what she excels at – blow jobs – and leave grifting to the professionals.

“As for the live audience – using your prostitutes and johns? If you creative geniuses ever bothered to leave the confines of this loony bin, you would see how this, more than anything else, has made a mockery of the show and turned it into a sitcom among the majority of your viewers. Since when have comedians received tithing, particularly when the comedy is unintended? No one is going to pony up donations for something they can see for free on network television. The studio audience goes. The Netcast’s audience – and its bad press – have grown exponentially, not because it’s good, but because it’s so bad. A big audience is never a bad thing, but it becomes irrelevant when a broadcast has no sponsors and its ability to attract donors has atrophied. My publicist has already sent out email circulars announcing my return to the parishioners. From here on out, I’m Christ’s Commandant; you follow my lead. For heaven’s sake, have make-up do something with that ever-present shine on your forehead before we greet our pious masses. That’s all for now, Pastor.”

Pastor Pete Huckalby was furious at this upbraiding, but knew better than to take on the Talking Head. Petey saw Clarice Westwater as a true paradox: both victim and victimizer. In his line of work, he often counseled battered women to leave their spouses. While each case was unique, there was a common pattern and shared traits. Westwater was different. Scott White had deposited her at death’s door numerous times and, more often than not, she had endured the ordeal without going to the police, family or friends. She would appear defeated and vulnerable in the aftermath of this violence. Yet, she always quickly reverted to her cold, calculating, unfeeling self, then proceeded to dish out the abuse verbally, psychologically, and emotionally to all, but her closest confidants – and that was a very small group, indeed. The Talking Head was so inherently manipulative, parasitical, and self-serving that it was difficult to have compassion for the woman.

“Lights, cameras, Jesus!”

After a visit to wardrobe and make-up to address that cranial glare, Pastor Petey joined his imperious co-host on the sound stage – littered, once again, with the Talking Head’s opulent rococo and Greco-Roman props. The set was saturated with rich embroideries, gilt, and tassels. Gold, purple, forest-green, and blood red predominated. Even Westwater’s pug, Bitsie, managed a disapproving countenance, lording over the scurrying grips and stagehands from atop her leopard skin recamier. Petey loathed the brainless purebred, but Bitsie’s return had been a precondition set by Clarice.

The Talking Head seated herself in a regal high-back chair, with her pug to her right. Both on and off-stage, Pastor Petey dressed with the conservative minimalism of a Quaker. His somber attire clashed dramatically with the Talking Head’s choice of wardrobe. Her outfit screamed “secular humanist”. Clarice was seldom satisfied with the imported haute-couture offerings of New York’s textile district. When her income allowed, she purchased directly from the various fashion houses in Europe. To mark her return, she was sporting a lavish Jean Paul Gaultier formal, dark green gown with plunging front and back. The empire waist accentuated her saline bosom. Clarice’s left shoulder was left bare by a drop strap, while ostrich feathers embellished the gown’s right shoulder, extending upwards, over the shoulder, and cascading down the back of the dress.

A technician cued the Netcast’s theme music, as Petey moved stage center to announce the return of Clarice Westwater from her (wholly fictitious) humanitarian crusade in Africa. The Talking Head’s reworking of the Netcast began with its theme music. The saccharine refrains of puddin’ pop alto saxophonist Kenny G. had been replaced with the sternum-vibrating Gangsta Rap beat of artiste Fifty Cent. The Talking Head intentionally hadn’t forewarned her co-host about the switch to throw him off his game. She succeeded in her endeavor. Historically, the Metropoleis Messianic Minute opened with a darkened stage and Pastor Petey in a soft blue spotlight, head bowed in piety, arms crossed prosaically, holding the Good Book snug against his crisp white starched shirt. Unbeknownst to the pastor, Clarice had replaced the aging audio equipment with six eight-foot-tall studio monitors and a bank of subwoofers, fueled by a rack of Crown power amplifiers, putting out 50,000 watts of libidinous lyricism. Fifty Cent’s “Candy Shop” hit the studio like a neutron bomb, following Scott White’s voice-over introduction of the show’s topics. Six back-up dancers – three male, three female – emerged from either side of the stage. The dancers, their lithe, near naked bodies well-greased, began to gyrate to the music. The wall of sound sucker-punched Pastor Petey, knocking him back on his heels. He lost his grip on his dog-eared Bible, dropping to his knees to catch the book before it hit the floor. While rising to his feet, Petey noticed the scantily clad dancers and dropped the Bible again.

The synchronized pelvic thrusts of the dancers slowed in rhythm as the music faded. The dancers struck rigid, statuesque poses behind the pastor: three female dancers to his right, three males to his left. The soft blue spotlight morphed to red, then purple, as Petey cleared his throat and head to speak. He was furious over the audio ambush and the change in show format. His face turned a deep crimson with rage at the mere thought of having to lavish praise upon the Talking Head, much less enact his new role as her footman. There were no doubts about her malicious intent: he could clearly see the mischievous grimace cross Westwater’s face as she watched Petey struggle to steady himself.

After regaining his composure, the pastor spoke into Camera #2 through clenched jaws, trying to conceal his anger, while feigning enthusiasm about the Talking Head’s return. He briefly summarized her manufactured mission to Africa, heaped praise on her for her bravery and selflessness, then welcomed her back to the MIII Ministry fold. From center stage, Pastor Petey pivoted towards the seated Clarice, hands clasped in prayer, as he exclaimed, “Back from doing her fearless and fearsome work in Hell’s abyss, the MIII Ministry’s Dove of Divine Providence – Clarice Westwater!” With that, there was an encore of Fifty Cent’s hit song, and the spotlight swung stage right to reveal the Talking Head seated regally upon her throne. At the Netcast’s opening, the loud music had terrified Bitsie, causing the dog to seek refuge under the stage manager’s chair. Bitsie, like Pastor Petey, had, by now, adjusted somewhat to the aural assault, and returned to her mistress’ side.